i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
Randomize
