dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Randomize
