I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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