and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
Randomize
