Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
P.S. I can't hear my feet
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
Randomize
