was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Randomize
