I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Randomize
