why didn't you poke me back
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
Randomize
