Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
