my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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