Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
Sober January is a disaster.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
Randomize
