Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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