It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
Ladies don't puke and tell
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
