Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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