So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
