im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
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