wanna go halves on a baby?
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
