why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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