Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Randomize
