i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
Randomize
