she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Randomize
