You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
Randomize
