just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
Randomize
