you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
Randomize
