feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
