You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Randomize
