Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
