am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize
