we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Randomize
