I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
