This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
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