we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize
