Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
Randomize
