Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
Randomize
