she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
Randomize
