I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
Randomize
