just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
Randomize
