i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
