Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize
