glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
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