Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
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