i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
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