12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
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