Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
