I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
