Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
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