too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
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