I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
