Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
