You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
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