Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
